He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
