Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
