Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just google imaged poop.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
