i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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