so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
