covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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