He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
