Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
