kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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