This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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