i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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