ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
