I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
