can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
