I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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