Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
