I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sober January is a disaster.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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