mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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