I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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