just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
there is puke in my bra ... again
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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