Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
