too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
