my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
