I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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