No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And then my night got REAL pukey
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
