There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
