Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
