The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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