Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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