I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize