I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize
