I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
