she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
