youre lurking in front of me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
