I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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