my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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