They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
