This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
