There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
