Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
