making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
