It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
