he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Two words: nipple clamps
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