Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
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