We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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