I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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