ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
