i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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