too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
