I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
