Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
