You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
