i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
