it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
