Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
