Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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