Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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