real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The police scanner is talking about you again....
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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