no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize