East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my being single is dangerous.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
