weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
