no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
