no, he came in my armpit
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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