I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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