If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
