The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
