trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
