Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
