At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize